One Man Show

Few hours back was the opening match of the FIFA World Cup 2014 between Brazil and Croatia. Guess what? I did not watch. This tournament does not mean anything to me anymore.

When life has to go through by yourself, nothing is to be passionate about. I'm just sad that my life this time around I will not have children or family. Everyone has only one life. But my life this time has gone so wrong that my dream to have a perfect family with children was merely a dream and not achievable. Living life alone is my only option.

Who to blame? Nobody. I just feel sad whenever I see young couples dining in a cafe with babies to take care of. This is something I will not be seeing myself in it and something I will envy for the rest of my life. I still love her by her shadows. One true love.

The Railway Station

The railway station has been a place where many people meet and so the beginning of our story.

Today, I went to Kluang railway station for a glass of hot aromatic local blend coffee in the chill morning. As I take a sip, I mesmerized the moment that we once shared. The beginning of our story. We first met at a train station somewhere near her then school and home. I've set myself brave and approach her when she came with a friend of hers after the schooling session. The Segambut KTM station was the middle point of our meeting. It can be real funny when we look back the past noticing how naive we were and the look of her innocent face still embossed in my heart.

Today, my new home is also minutes away from the KTM station where we met and the only difference now is that I don't see her there anymore. But the memory of our first meet up. It was the beginning of our great love story and the journey we both had.

When I stood here today at the Kluang railway, I really hoped that she is still waiting for me at the other side of the track.

"Please know that I love you from the day we first met"

The Realm of Illusion

When the sun rises, it's all over. This is how I'm living now and the future to be.

I've just dreamt of her again. Going to her house, meeting her parents and aunts while spending some of the most quality time with her. Everything including faces and voices seem to be so fresh in my mind. It was a total happiness again to b sitting beside her, interacting like how we used to be. Then her aunt suggested that we see our new place that I've bought recently. Hence, we moved on.

But, why must the sun rises?

The only way for me to accept this parting is for me to me the baddest guy and realize I don't deserve her anymore.

Hence, I'm already in the realm of self-destruction. Kudos!