tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80309417512537948232024-02-20T05:18:46.791-08:00A Recontinuehwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-36740318111888317282015-06-19T04:45:00.001-07:002015-06-19T04:45:27.429-07:00Life's a Mess<p dir="ltr">I'm depressed and no words describe me more. The more I be myself, the more I get hurt. Did I just bury everything down below avoiding then to resurface? What can I do? I'm feeling very sick of life. I love her so much. I love my family. I love my friends. Everyone around me. But I do not love myself anymore for leading a life like this. I'm disappointed.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-78173356097154456802015-04-12T18:40:00.001-07:002015-04-12T18:40:55.228-07:00How Can I Tell You?<p dir="ltr">And so, I dreamt of you again. Every moment we shared was the best moment of my life. Even if I am about to die tomorrow, I thank God for giving me this dream last night.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I love her but I can't tell her. People may say I'm suffering a form of obsession. But I know myself best. I love her.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The only way I could tell her was from my dream.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-73657904224686511582015-04-07T11:37:00.001-07:002015-04-07T11:37:43.475-07:00See You Again<p dir="ltr">Damn who knew all the planes we flew<br>
Good things we've been through<br>
That I'll be standing right here<br>
Talking to you about another path I<br>
Know we loved to hit the road and laugh</p>
<p dir="ltr">For the love that existed, remained and embossed.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I love you Chua Pei Wen.</p>
<p dir="ltr">See you again.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-64568334471965553162015-03-25T17:56:00.001-07:002015-03-25T17:56:56.879-07:00Depression<p dir="ltr">Depression now has gone too far.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I love her very much. Losing someone in life is not the best thing around. But one tend to appreciate after the lost.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I remember the time when I was in Starbucks Chaweng Beach @ Samui. Writing her the last love letter, buying her the last present which was a cute pastel colored handbag that she love. Then went over to survey beach side restaurants for nice beach side candlelight dinner. The bag was passed on to the waiter in advance to allow the surprise during the dinner. It was my first and the last beach side candlelight dinner with her. I'm happy to see her receiving something she likes.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But, it was the past.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I've not contacted her since almost after the trip. My intention was really not to cut tie with her. I love her so much that I wanted to give her the freedom. The freedom to know others and the freedom to do things she did not do when she was with me.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But, I'm now stuck in depression.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-83710975003422724302015-02-26T06:51:00.001-08:002015-02-26T06:51:36.715-08:00Empty Wishes<p dir="ltr">For the past years, on this very day of the Chinese lunar calendar, I will be at her place celebrating a tradition most Chinese practice in Malaysia especially the Chinese Hokkien community.</p>
<p dir="ltr">As an individual, I'm not a very religious person to be frank. But I do make wishes whenever I had the chance or when visiting Chinese temples. Birthday wishes were also part of them.</p>
<p dir="ltr">On this very day, we normally pray to the Jade emperor by giving offerings in return of good health and prosperity. People tend to make wishes either by praying or writing them down onto a paper lantern that will then set release to the sky.</p>
<p dir="ltr">For the past decade,y wishes were all the same. To marry her and start a family with her. Giving her a stable and peaceful life was all I wanted over the years of relationship.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Sadly, it never came through. Not anymore.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Tonight, sitting by the bedside alone, I can only wish for her health, career and happiness. Those are what matter most to me now.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-88603300537646282392015-02-24T08:55:00.001-08:002015-02-26T05:28:50.782-08:00Babies Boon<p dir="ltr">Very often, I find myself like my father. The love of having babies and little children has always been in me. But yet, it never happen.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I've always plan to start a family with her. To have a very happy family and children wandering around the house. But now, I guess it will never happen. My love for her has always been here since day 1 and never faded. But it will just not come to a result that will be favorable to the both of us. I love her. Today and tomorrow. It is really sad that things did not worked out between us both. The family that I've been dreaming of will never exist. What is a hone without family.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I guess I will never have a family of my own.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-89737434268965045592015-01-26T07:14:00.001-08:002015-01-26T07:14:27.624-08:00When she feels happier after the breakup, you then know you were the cause of her unhappiness. All you do now is miss.hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-235426917392557512015-01-17T09:25:00.001-08:002015-01-17T09:25:04.526-08:00Overshadowed<p dir="ltr">I was there when she was. A while ago, I so happened to drop by Publika to see the 1600 pandas that were on display at the concourse of the mall. I was there with my parents and sister.</p>
<p dir="ltr">In the midst of everyone walking pass, I felt that she was there. A place and occasion she would go. I've just gone crazy in that hour. I've scanned every girl in the mall to see if I really bump into her. From walking around the concourse to walking through the route to the toilet, I scanned each and every girl hoping to bump into her.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But somehow I had this feeling that I do not want her to see me. To see the man I am now. So much has changed. I've never felt happy in almost one year. From the day she left me.</p>
<p dir="ltr">In the end, I did not bump into her. But I realized she was there too from a post in Facebook. Somehow, my instinct was right. But I did not have the chance to meet her.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Depression has hit me for months and I realized it's too much to carry. Just too much and I'm feeling very tired. I love her. I just want to protect her. It's just that simple. But life did not treat me fairly. I was never meant to be the guy for her.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm depressed.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-A2qtcrrE9B8/VLqa7MhrVdI/AAAAAAAAA1w/V0yCVv6oYjI/s1600/20150117_201637.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-A2qtcrrE9B8/VLqa7MhrVdI/AAAAAAAAA1w/V0yCVv6oYjI/s640/20150117_201637.jpg"> </a> </div>hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-41147905889859625232015-01-04T18:36:00.001-08:002015-01-04T18:36:21.349-08:002015<p dir="ltr">So the start of 2015 was not as good as it should be.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The shadow and ghost of 2014 still haunt me and depression grows even greater. When u see a man like Robin William laughs, nobody expects such strong force of depression in him. Like many things, a book can't be judge by it's cover.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I still miss and love her from the day I first met her. It is really sad until today I still can't let go off her even after moving to a brand new year. I love her for the rest of my life. Very often, I feel very sad when I do see lovely couples getting married, seeing adorable young children with their parents complete as a whole family. My once dream of life is now shattered. I know I can never accept another girl to replace her.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Today, I've just realized all these while, I've never scold her before in the relationship. I've never ask much from her but tried to be by her side and protect her all the time. Of course I do admit that there are few occasions that I've failed. I deeply regretted but knowing her gave me the best 10 years of my life. But why does it need to end?</p>
<p dir="ltr">I am now nobody but someone who is buried deep down by depression. I love her. If one day I ever leave, I hope the love stays.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I don't know what I want. I'm not expecting to be back together because I know she doesn't love me anymore. I don't want her to be unhappy. But this will only mean that I will be continuing the way I am now for the rest of my life or at least until I leave.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-60315252359133200042014-12-16T21:19:00.001-08:002014-12-16T21:19:54.510-08:00Penang, A Year Ago<p dir="ltr">Penang, the island of much memories. I've been to Penang countless time over the past years. Mostly alone but I do have several time I came with companions.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This time, my work involved a project based in Balik Pulau. I travel back and forth from Georgetown to Balik Pulau everyday. Everyday passing by the Air Itam route gave me memories. I have to admit, I was deeply sadden that it can only remain as memories and nothing can be done to reproduce it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I've came here with both my beloved woman and family on separate occasions. We went to Balik Pulau for laksa and went also durian midway. The view from the durian stalls overlooking the flat land below and sea was simply magnificent put together her company that time. I will not forget that moment and it will only resurface every time I come penang.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This time in Penang, I am staying at Amernian Suite. In front this boutique hotel is a place I was with her last year. We came to find the infamous "minion" street pole then. It's at a valley directly opposite the place I'm staying. Next to it was a stall selling flavored ice ball that I once purchased for her before boarding the ferry back to mainland Malaysia.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Everything was so clear in my mind and it was as though as it has been engraved in my brain. I miss her. Why do she wants to end moment like this?</p>
<p dir="ltr">If it wasn't the end, I have plan to marry her by next year end. And here I thought my planning was thoughtful enough but apparently not. I am suffering deeply from day one till now. I really miss her. I love her.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-69837584829958470522014-12-07T16:42:00.001-08:002014-12-07T16:42:49.190-08:00Forever Alone As She Always Hinted Me<p dir="ltr">I'm now living in a world of my own. People call this stubbornness. Others call it stupidity. Some call it faithfulness. So what do you think it is?</p>
<p dir="ltr">I still love her. Today and forever. What have I done? Being a gentleman is not good enough? Being a guy who doesn't force her for self interest is not good enough? To love her more than myself is not good enough? To plan out life in advance is not good enough? She did love me and I believe she really did. But now she doesn't. How does it even matter now? She has left me.</p>
<p dir="ltr">To be honest, I'm not the worst guy out there. I do find myself above average as a companion if not the best. But somehow, relationship is not just commitment and complementing each and other. Very often, the feeling of love masked the entire relationship. No matter how good a person is, if she doesn't love you anymore, it's the end. I've came to realize this but realizing is a thing from escaping it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The fact is that I still love her very much. I will just fall deeper into the realm of self illusion as the days pass..</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-50539686123700481802014-11-20T01:53:00.001-08:002014-11-20T01:53:08.752-08:00The Deep Fall<p dir="ltr">Today, I've discovered a big mistake that I've made in work back in Dec 2013. Two years passed and there isn't anything I can do now. Evidence seems to prove me in wrong and I've to admit that it was very likely my mistake back then.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm at the lowest point of my career and i have nothing to hold on now. Nothing in me can change anything now. I just feel like giving up life. What can I do?</p>
<p dir="ltr">I needed you at this very moment. I hope to have you to be by my side like how we used to be. But things have changed. I am getting weaker day by day. It <u>is</u> hard now. Is this how far I can reach in life?</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-82715257694561500672014-11-17T03:02:00.001-08:002014-11-19T02:00:58.556-08:00The Cruise of Life<p dir="ltr">Today when I'm writing this, the days of cruise has just passed. There was no network signal on international water as expected.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The cruise was just ordinary. One thing I do enjoy was puffing on the windy top deck of the cruise looking over the Andaman sea. Having to say that, it was a pure bliss that I don't experience it in kl.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Getting down at Phuket and Krabi however gave me flashback the time when I was in Koh Samui with her. Like I said before, the trip to Koh Samui was supposingly to be a pre-wedding trip with her in order to have better photoshoots to be displayed </p>
<p dir="ltr">There was a couple game on the last night of the cruise. It was <u>funny</u> yet sensitive for me. Three couples were supposed to answer 5 questions with their answers match to their respective spouse. Among the questions were like, when and where you first met? When was your first date? These questions ran across my mind and dug out a significant portion of my memory. I do remember we met at the train station for the very first time. Our first date was at Mid Valley in Tony Roma's to celebrate Valentine's day.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I still miss her regardless of what she thinks. I've became the worst of myself recently and will continue to fall even deeper knowing the path I'm taking now.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-23869726290029828552014-11-14T15:37:00.001-08:002014-11-14T15:44:13.522-08:00False Alarm<p dir="ltr">Today when I woke up to the sunrise, I knew the hours before were fake.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It was a party? House warming? Chinese new year house visit? I'm not too sure. But it was the time when I was with her. I do remember her 3rd aunt was somewhere in the picture too. I miss her. As I was busy with something which I don't remember so well, I managed to approach her. I held her arms and soft hands while she responded by leaning on me. It was exactly how it was like before. I can feel that she loves me so much and without any doubt, I gave her the impression that I do love her more than ever. Which I really do.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Sometimes sunrise isn't a gifted power of nature given that it marks the end of my happy moments. Whether it is real or fake, if doesn't really matter anymore. My life is now bad enough. A false happiness will certainly help.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-76269407094367558462014-11-13T16:03:00.001-08:002014-11-13T16:03:41.407-08:00The Better Guy But Not Quite So<p dir="ltr">Being her boyfriend for the past years was not just about having her by my side. It was very much into treating her the best and finding the balance of time to be well spent together. By saying so, I've tried many ways to provide her every amenities that she needed. I've also tried to find chance to get closer to her family while bringing her closer to mine too. I love her. It's just natural for me to do so.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Despite saying that, every man has a weakness. I've also not lived up to her expectation. There are several to say about this.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Being her boyfriend, I've also not done something to her that was against her will. I respect her. But to much of this avail, the better I do, the greater I fall. Today, she is no longer my girlfriend. But she will stay in my heart for the rest of my life.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I was just trying to be a good boyfriend.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-50620559050828556132014-11-04T18:54:00.001-08:002014-11-04T19:01:47.088-08:00The End of a Journey<p dir="ltr">We've gone through this far. Supporting you in the past 10 years has been a memorable journey that we both experienced so much that we could write a story of endless pages. The happy time, the down time, and even time when we were not together yet missing each another from a distance.</p>
<p dir="ltr">She has graduated and I had to step aside. I was supposed to be the happiest man for her graduation. Not that I'm not, but I m feeling very disappointed and sad for not being the man with her on this important day.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I miss her every moment and presence in my life. I love her. Yesterday was one of the happiest day in my life. It was also one of the saddest day in my life. Sometimes, I'm not just being stubborn and refuse to let go this feeling. But nobody understands. I love her. I still love her.</p>
<p dir="ltr">If I was weak, I would have already jump.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-21287985765632214002014-10-25T16:18:00.001-07:002014-10-25T16:18:22.285-07:00The Long Awaited<p dir="ltr">Dear,</p>
<p dir="ltr">The day has finally come. Her convocation day after for years of varsity days is held this weekend. She looks absolutely stunning in the graduation robe. Exactly what I could imagine years ago.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But I am nowhere to be there. This day was a very important day to me. To see her graduating, reaching a new milestone in life after all her hard work and all we've gone through from high school to pre-u then university. I was part of every of these phase in her life. But, I do not get to attend her convocation. Being the best day for her, it is also the hardest day for me.</p>
<p dir="ltr">While she doesn't want me to be part of her, I must admit that I still love her until today. Sometimes, things will never fade. Like this love. I guess she will never know but for me to bury this love together with me under the tombstone one fine day. Sadly, nothing can be done.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I kept dreaming about her. Last night, I had a series of dream about her. While I was in her home helping her family, she was out on a holiday. But I avoided her when she returns home. I know its not wise for her to face me. Something she will feel very uncomfortable. </p>
<p dir="ltr">But it's true that I can now only see the girl I love from afar. I can only imagine my future with her but not any other girls. Never was and never will. But all she may think at the end of the day is that I love her because I won't be able to get another girl. Well, her view will always stay with her. Little did she know that I've also avoided such intention from another girl during this period of time.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I love her.<br><br></p>
<p dir="ltr">With Regret,<br>
Ray Phan</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-26223334270811732342014-10-20T21:28:00.001-07:002014-10-21T09:19:14.621-07:00Where Rainbows End<p dir="ltr">"You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy."</p>
<p dir="ltr">                            Cecelia Ahern, Love, Rosie</p>
<p dir="ltr">I was on a premier screening of a novel adapted movie by the author Cecilia Ahern, 'Where Rainbows End'.</p>
<p dir="ltr">A gift for her knowing she loves novels from this particular author. But I didn't know the storyline until I watched the movie which probably abstracted most part from the novel. Overall it was a good movie with touching storyline yet somehow infused with comedy essence in several scenes.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I would want to message her to spare time to watch this movie knowing she loves the novel so much. But I know I am not in the situation to tell.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We do not know love until we lose it. All I can say, it's all a diversion to life now. The other end of the rainbow may not seem so colorful anymore.<br>
</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-N1bJl4iJnrs/VEaHfriSy6I/AAAAAAAAA1M/BYxMRQ5w9AA/s1600/1413908296739.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-N1bJl4iJnrs/VEaHfriSy6I/AAAAAAAAA1M/BYxMRQ5w9AA/s640/1413908296739.jpg"> </a> </div>hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-85039599038872166432014-10-05T06:32:00.001-07:002014-10-05T06:32:18.816-07:00The Meaning of Life<p dir="ltr">Times when you have neither a destination nor journey. Times when commitment is no longer meaningful. What do you get from a commitment? When you love someone so deeply only to know that you are nothing in this world. </p>
<p dir="ltr">A family means nothing anymore. Merely just a dream unreachable. The fantasy family I always had in mind with the girl I love. It's all in the mind.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Things could have been better before hand. But her decision to end this has put the greatest impact to life. I am nowhere now. Just lost. Lost in trust, commitment, time, love, hope and life. Just a total lost.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Good bless me. Please put an end. Life is now a downfall. :)</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-13022422017416861092014-09-19T18:53:00.001-07:002014-09-19T18:53:28.372-07:00Tears of a Dream<p dir="ltr">It was the saddest I've ever had. The girl whom I love the most shed tears in me, both reality and dream. My love for her had been both strong in dream and reality too. It all started when......</p>
<p dir="ltr">I was walking her down the road from my parents' house on one normal night. It seems everything was fine. We stopped by the bus stop down the road and waited. Many cars and busses were passing by. That road never had been so busy.</p>
<p dir="ltr">A bus came recklessly towards us. And the next thing happened was the bus knocked her and she flew off falling down into a wide drainage by the roadside walkway. Somehow, I escaped from the crash.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I could not breathe in that moment after the crash. I quickly ran to her and saw she was badly injured with injuries at the head and arm. Her arm was bleeding nonstop. I tried moving her <u>to</u> a resting position while pressing on her arm to suppress further bleeding. I believe she was half conscious that time. I shouted to the public to dial for the ambulance.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The next thing that I know, we were home while she was on the need with untreated injuries. I do not know why are we home and neither do I know what took the ambulance so long. Many hours past, and I call her mom. Her mom answered. She started the conversation knowing that her daughter had already left me, advicing me to let go off the relationship. I then spoke and told her what happened hours ago and where her daughter is now. Then, it went silent.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I got back to her and she bleed much lesser than before. Still, the ambulance was nowhere to be seen. Now that I'm awake, I realized why did we not send her to hospital by car instead of waiting? That was just a dream. It doesn't require logic.</p>
<p dir="ltr">She opened her eyes and looked at me. My eyes were tearful and she seems very much stronger than I was. At that very moment, her condition seems better. The dream ended there, before the ambulance arrive.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Do you need a dream to make you realize how important a person is to you? Even if you realized, what can you do?</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-81054627922414814592014-09-05T00:16:00.001-07:002014-09-05T00:16:18.608-07:00The Past<p dir="ltr">I do not know them anymore. Both the guy and the girl. They seemed really happy in the past but nothing lasts. Love? Happiness? None will last.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Life is like leaving on the street now. Nothing more to look forward to. Everyday just barely surviving to see tomorrow's sunlight. Where has the ambition gone to? The target of life?</p>
<p dir="ltr">In the past, I've always been looking forward to start a family with her. Shower them with the best I can provide. At least, there is something to look forward to everyday. There is an aim to save money and work harder from day to day. But now? What is life?</p>
<p dir="ltr">People say when you lose a tree, there is still a forest. Although I have lost her, my love will always be with that tree. Seven months passed and certain things have not changed.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Little did she realized that I'm already non-existence.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-bzF60RUsdFA/VAljPsj2DMI/AAAAAAAAA0s/tJm9hXwLmaE/s1600/20140905_122724.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-bzF60RUsdFA/VAljPsj2DMI/AAAAAAAAA0s/tJm9hXwLmaE/s640/20140905_122724.jpg"> </a> </div>hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-40349702375306738322014-08-29T10:21:00.001-07:002014-09-19T18:25:22.705-07:00Temperament is Nothing<p dir="ltr"><u>When</u> she does not know how I feel, she won't know how am I. I drink now like almost every night I've gone through the past six months. What did she realized about me? One weak guy who can't let go of past love.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Great. That's what I would wish her to think. To think that I'm a useless guy so that I can fall further deeper down the well while she realized I'm a useless guy and find another guy. Her happiness is my priority no matter what am I.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My last words here, I wish her all the best. Nothing can change the fact now. She doesn't love <u>me</u> anymore and I had to leave. Goodbye. I love you Sweetheart.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-28272501969296297452014-08-26T10:22:00.001-07:002014-08-26T10:22:59.282-07:00Indefinite<p dir="ltr">How long must I be like this?</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-44460076563051456442014-08-24T12:26:00.001-07:002014-08-24T12:26:38.728-07:00Goodbye<p dir="ltr">Today was the start of the end. A sacrifice I decided that I will bear regardless of whatever happens in future. I've disabled Facebook and Instagram. Which also means i will no longer have access to these. What's next? WhatsApp?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Nobody really knows how hurt I was throughout these six months. Acting is just tiring. I love her so much but situation had ended this way. With full respect to her, I'm withdrawing myself from her world. The world I once stood with her for almost half my life.</p>
<p dir="ltr">To complete her resume today before passing to her was simply a moment of recalling our past. The yester-years of her education and work experience. I will no longer be the guy who will be fetching her home from school, office or anywhere. Remembering the past, she was the first girl who sat in my car when I was excited on the first day receiving my first car.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Well, everything has an end. So does the story of us both. I miss her. I love her always and forever. Goodbye dear.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I love you Chua Pei Wen.<br>
hwphan.</p>
<p dir="ltr"><a href="http://youtu.be/_9wKi1keg8g">Bon Jovi - Thank You For Loving Me: http://youtu.be/_9wKi1keg8g</a></p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8030941751253794823.post-68540541456573053292014-07-21T09:20:00.001-07:002014-07-21T09:45:44.026-07:00Koh Samui With Love<p dir="ltr">Anyway, today I held her hands while wandering on the roads. I admit that it was a force attempt by me. At that very moment, i'm no longer someone she always wanted to hold. I know. But I love her. Now, I do know that loving is a sin. Eventually, she will be someone else's wife and I still love her.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Life is full of depression.</p>
hwphanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02962983765610275273noreply@blogger.com1