I'm now living in a world of my own. People call this stubbornness. Others call it stupidity. Some call it faithfulness. So what do you think it is?
I still love her. Today and forever. What have I done? Being a gentleman is not good enough? Being a guy who doesn't force her for self interest is not good enough? To love her more than myself is not good enough? To plan out life in advance is not good enough? She did love me and I believe she really did. But now she doesn't. How does it even matter now? She has left me.
To be honest, I'm not the worst guy out there. I do find myself above average as a companion if not the best. But somehow, relationship is not just commitment and complementing each and other. Very often, the feeling of love masked the entire relationship. No matter how good a person is, if she doesn't love you anymore, it's the end. I've came to realize this but realizing is a thing from escaping it.
The fact is that I still love her very much. I will just fall deeper into the realm of self illusion as the days pass..
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