Overshadowed

I was there when she was. A while ago, I so happened to drop by Publika to see the 1600 pandas that were on display at the concourse of the mall. I was there with my parents and sister.

In the midst of everyone walking pass, I felt that she was there. A place and occasion she would go. I've just gone crazy in that hour. I've scanned every girl in the mall to see if I really bump into her. From walking around the concourse to walking through the route to the toilet, I scanned each and every girl hoping to bump into her.

But somehow I had this feeling that I do not want her to see me. To see the man I am now. So much has changed. I've never felt happy in almost one year. From the day she left me.

In the end, I did not bump into her. But I realized she was there too from a post in Facebook. Somehow, my instinct was right. But I did not have the chance to meet her.

Depression has hit me for months and I realized it's too much to carry. Just too much and I'm feeling very tired. I love her. I just want to protect her. It's just that simple. But life did not treat me fairly. I was never meant to be the guy for her.

I'm depressed.